Why do I have to be such a land lubber?

There is a street meat market between the immigration office and ferry terminal in Puerto Cortes. Half the booths strung and carved animal carcasses from the ceiling, the other half were restaurants and grocers. My friends' passports had expired the day before we got there, so the fat, sweaty, immigration officer refused to stamp their VISAS until an acceptable bribe was offered. The bribe was the captain's idea, who surely got a cut considering how steep it was. My friends had already purchased their ferry tickets, which was leaving shortly, so time was unfortunately against us.
On the pontoon-speedboat ferry to Belize were about 18 people including the captain and "first mate". The first mate's jobs were to hand out vom bags and steer while the captain scarfed down his rice and tortillas. I happen to know the captain ate rice and tortillas because I went to the stern for some fresh air and to vom over board. I figured if I'm going to vom why not feed the fish at the same time? Besides, what am I going to do with a bag of vom on a boat? The reason I vomed was because my friend Stephanie vomed first, and I apparently inherited from my mom the gag reflex when seeing someone else vom. The reason my friend vomed was because one of the ferry's motors died, which made us way slower and way more susceptible to sideways rocking. uhhhhhhhggggggggguuuuuuuuBBBBBBLLLLUUUUEEEHHHHH
The wind and salty splashes on my face finally cleared my head enough to go back under the tarp roof and curl up in a ball on the wooden floor. Flotation devices double as a great emergency cushion. After puttering along at half speed for 5 hours, a ferry with all its motors in tact met us and loaded the prisoners....err passengers. Because the ferry drivers booked as many passengers as they possibly could, there was not enough room for all of us to sit on the bench, which meant I was stuck with all our luggage sitting on a 6" wide, hard plaster support beam. I received a fierce spanking. Even with my flotation device cushioning my seat, I thought to myself, I think I'd rather be pulled behind the boat by a cord tied around my wrist. At least there are occasional dolphin and whale shark sightings in these parts.
Exhausted and pleased to be on firm ground, we turned down 4 or 5 different offers for "the very best bud" and ate a greasy dinner in a hole in the wall with an outdoor staircase leading to nowhere. Then we relaxed on a breezy rooftop balcony and went to bed.